Coaching And The Empty Shell

Coaching And The Empty Shell 01

Have you ever had that feeling of being an empty shell? About a month ago, I was reuniting online with a small group of dear soul friends from the Ignite Global tribe, and when they asked me how I was, I answered: “I’m fine, but I feel like an empty shell.” You know, they’re the kind of friends with whom you can speak the truth, plain and simple, without second thoughts.

They’ll pick up on it, or not, and you will grab the baton, or not. But they most likely will, and so will you. It’s that easy and oh, so safe, yet, so challenging, because there’s no escaping the powerful questions or the amazing insights.

So, there I found myself, willingly cornered by a relentless flock of coaches that gave me no other option than to pause, reflect, go deeper. Pause, reflect, transform, go beyond me. Pause, reflect, transform, get closer to my higher self. Pause, reflect, transform, fill the shell.

Coaching And The Empty Shell

Filling the shell didn’t happen overnight, nor did it happen then and there. Quite the opposite. By the end of the conversation, I was crying. Big, fat, and very wet tears. I was feeling vulnerable, lost and blind, while an hour before I had been feeling perfectly happy, albeit empty, and I still didn’t understand why. Why the emptiness and why the tears. I don’t believe in stifling emotions because I know that doing that will only cause further issues.

So, I just sat there for a while, embracing my tears and the sadness that had replaced the emptiness, and I started observing them. And then, suddenly, three realisations struck me: I had refused to let myself be coached; I had been taking things the wrong way, therefore lying to myself and to my friends, although unintentionally; I was going to have to walk myself through the process again if I wanted to fill the shell and move forward.

Tell Me More About That Empty Shell

“The shell represents love and abundance, and it’s broken.” That was my first misconception. When understanding dawned on me, I knew magic was going to happen sooner or later. How could I have been so blind? A shell is just a container (well, in reality, it can be much more than that, but I will stick with what we see, not what science knows because we derive our representations from what we see). Seashell, nutshell, bullet shell… They are all casings. An outer appearance for something totally different inside, and the real value lies in what is inside, doesn’t it? In you, in me, in the seashell.

What Else?

“Parts of me are scattered all over the place, and even if they were inside the shell, they wouldn’t match because they’re like worn-out puzzle pieces”. Did I really say that? Yes, I did. Even worse, I went on about how that puzzle represented the life I wanted and was unable to achieve. I guess that’s what got me crying and indulging in a little self-pity. I wasn’t embarrassed or ashamed as I recalled the conversation.

Coaching is totally free of judgment and is a place of compassion, and my friends are live embodiments of that. However, I was beginning to understand that I had to shift my perspective.

How Do You Want To Explore This?

“Perhaps the shell is empty because better things need to occupy that space? Perhaps it’s an opportunity to look at possibilities and choose from them?” That wise suggestion didn’t come from me, but I started pondering over it because it sparked some interest. When we put an empty shell to our ear, we think we can hear the ocean; and what is the ocean but an endless stream of possibilities?

Images popped through my mind, and I visualised, side by side, a scallop shell and a conch shell, the former used as an ashtray, the latter filled with beautiful jewellery items. I realised that, currently, I was closer to the scallop shell I had pictured. What do you do with ashes and dog-ends? You throw them away. I was sticking to the old, stuck because it sat there blankly looking at it instead of taking the necessary steps that would lead me to where I wanted to be.

What Is Emerging For You?

What I felt to be emptiness was in fact dead weight. I probed a little deeper, and that dead weight turned out to be fear. Fear of throwing the shell away, along with the ashes? And so what? I could also find another shell that I liked even better and that would offer even more adequate space for the beautiful things I was going to place there!

All along, the answer and the path I wanted to tread had been there for me, but the scope of the change I wanted to make was so huge that it terrified me. If I refused to move forward, I would remain in that state of emptiness and nothingness. Becoming aware of it felt incredible. Relief, inspiration and motivation swept over me all at once, bringing in a powerful wave of energy and dedication.

How Do You Want To Move Forward And Where Are You Now?

My new awareness drastically turned the situation around because not taking action would be like working against myself. I was my best accountability partner because I owed happiness and fulfilment to myself, and there was no way I was going to walk past it if it was there for the taking!

Coaching And The Empty Shell

I can’t say I’m no longer afraid, because there’s always a measure of unknown everywhere and in everything, but it also leaves room for even better and unexpected things. I took the steps I needed to take, some very bold ones too, and my heart is rejoicing at the sight of this new shell filling up so nicely.

Thank you, my dear and beautiful soul-friends! Thank you for coaching!

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